# Redeveloping the packing screw!!!!



## Philthechill (May 8, 2007)

This bit of news is of such monumental importance that if the media got hold of it you would probably find that Micky Jackson, and his early death, would soon be relegated to the obscurity of the inside pages.

I have found a use for the smallest of the packing-screw family!!!!!!!!

Because so many of us have long held the view that most packing-screws, from the largest down to the tiniest, are NOT the best pieces of kit ever invented, I will repeat that sentence as most will be laughing hysterically and saying things like, "Ha! What sort of a k**b-head is HE?" or, "Yeah! In your dreams!" 

Trust me, is all I can say!

I have found a use for the smallest of the packing-screw family!!!!!!!!

My youngest daughter lives with me (having split-up with her long-term boy-friend) and has long blond hair (this bit of gen is crucial to the plot as you will soon see!!).

I noticed t'other day that the bath was taking an inordinately long time to drain-down and, on closer inspection, saw quite a tangle of hair bunging-up t'plug 'ole obviously shed from my daughter's loaf after she'd washed her hair whilst having a bath.

Trying to extract this tangle was proving tres difficile (as they'd say in French) then I suddenly thought, "Have I still got that small packing-screw I used to have, in my tool-collection?"

Yippee! There it was nestling amongst the antique Whitworth spanners and Metric shifters and hammers!!

Rushing (?) back into the bathroom I gently screwed the packing-screw down t' plug 'ole, lifted gently upwards and out came this tangled mass of hair!!

Bingo! At one fell swoop I'd not only cured the blocked-up "S" bend, on my bath, I'd also discovered a use for that smallest of packing-screws which, prior to my ground-breaking "research", had indeed been as much use as the proverbial "a**e-pocket in a singlet".

Being the magnanimous sort of cove I am I hereby surrender all rights and monies, I could have made, should I have decided to go into production with this ground-breaking redeveloping! 

In other words, fellow-SN engineers who may have one of these useless bits of kit gathering dust and rust in their tool-kits, please feel free to utilise it in the way described. (Should you decide to offer-up a little prayer in thanks to me please feel free so to do.) Salaams Phil (No! I am not related to Einstein even though many of you probably will be thinking I am.)(Hippy)


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## billyboy (Jul 6, 2005)

ha ha ha... Nice one Phil


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## JamesM (Feb 27, 2008)

Phil, Sorry mate, you've been ashore too long,--- you're getting things screwed-up!!

PS Think I've "hair-ed" this one before[=P]


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## billyboy (Jul 6, 2005)

Well, Not a lot to screw at Sea is there James...LOL


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## spongebob (Dec 11, 2007)

Would I need a left hand packing screw for southern plug holes?

Bob


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## cubpilot (Aug 18, 2008)

The missing component for me is the long haired blonde so i guess when you come to market the new use packing screws you will need to have a supply of said long haired blondes.


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## Satanic Mechanic (Feb 23, 2009)

Genius Phil - sheer genius. I admit I was skeptical of your initial claims given the fact that no one has ever found a use for these particular bits of kit, but fair play mate you done it.


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## Philthechill (May 8, 2007)

*I say chaps, steady-on there!!!*

I seem to detect a certain frivolous set to the replies to my "offered-in-all-sincerity" research project into the redevelopment of, "Packing screws (small) for the removal of concrete-hard packing from steam-valve etc. glands" and I find it rather upsetting!

One or two (oh, ok then, it was only one) have posted serious questions, the answers to which I'm afraid I don't have the answer, so I may be asking for assistance from the self-same people (person) who asked the question.

The question, posed by Mr. Robert Jenkins, (of the Southern Hemisphere), "Should I have anti-clockwise packing-screws to use in "The Antipodes?"

The implications, should I give the "wrong" advice, being so vast I daren't even contemplate them, has decided me to enrol any of our Antipodean brethren willing to conduct this research. 

The reward?

You get a go on the rag-man's trumpet next time he comes round. 

SM! Thank you dear boy for your kind words.

Billyboy! Always good support from you, but this time maybe a little on the near-the-knuckle side do you think?

Cub/Pilot and JamesM, I'm afraid your remarks are beneath contempt and unworthy of people who inhabit the parallel-universe of SN!!!!

So there we have it gentlemen. If you want to contribute sensible input, like SM has done, please feel free so to do as this epic re-development of such a useless bit of kit will probably rank alongside "The Manhattan Project" of World War 2, once more and more people try it out!!!

My natural modesty at being at being a near-genius forbids me from eulogising too much but I must say (as SM so clearly agrees) I have done pretty good haven't I?

Now, how do I apply for, "The Nobel Prize for Physics"? Salaams Phil(Hippy)


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## JamesM (Feb 27, 2008)

Aw Phil! -- don't take on so lad. I'm sure that this monumental discovery was carried out with engineering precision, scientific accuracy, hairmo --- oops sorry, thermodynamics, coupled with a touch of spiral hydraulics! Well done.
PS Do the doctors think you can be cured??


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## chadburn (Jun 2, 2008)

Sat in the usual traffic jam and looking around as you do I noticed a youth with his finger up to the bridge and wondered if a pig's tail packing/bogey remover would be a useful item for that application as well, fortunatly I had moved off before I saw what he did with the removed bit of nose "packing"


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## JamesM (Feb 27, 2008)

chadburn said:


> Sat in the usual traffic jam and looking around as you do I noticed a youth with his finger up to the bridge and wondered if a pig's tail packing/bogey remover would be a useful item for that application as well, fortunatly I had moved off before I saw what he did with the removed bit of nose "packing"


chadburn
Hope the youth in question is'nt the one who runs the whelk stall on Whitby harbour.


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## chadburn (Jun 2, 2008)

James, M. thankfully whelks are not for me, winkle picking below the cliff's was alway's an adventure as a child, I wonder if there is an application for a smaller "pig's tail" to remove the contents instead of a pin.


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## benjidog (Oct 27, 2005)

Very interesting but does it work with curly hair? If so do you need both right and left-handed threads to get all the buggers out? 

Come to that, if you have curly hair, does it all curl clockwise or anti-clockwise or a mixture of both?

We need to be told!


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## J Boyde (Apr 7, 2005)

So a member has learned a use for the screws, but surely they must have also learned other uses. As example, back in the 60s, and I am sure before, NZ had that famous 6 oclock rush, when the pubs closed at 6. Those days we had the half gee. A glass holding half a gallon of beer, and possibly other things. It was a dash to finish at work in the ship and retreat to the pub, with many people lined up for their beer. Solution, a number of us has the job of having a number of half gees and had them filled at the pub,resulting with us beign back on the ship, well before 6 resuling being able to quietly suck are beer. It was of course the days of corks, jammed in to the jars. To remove them and not filling the jar with cork, use the packing screws. Extra bonus, we didnt spill any. We did have one problem, when we left NZ, what to do with the jars. I have been told that you can navigate your way from Auckland to Sydney through the emptys. I suppose cans ended that one.
Jim B


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## Philthechill (May 8, 2007)

*Not so!*



J Boyde said:


> So a member has learned a use for the screws, but surely they must have also learned other uses. As example, back in the 60s, and I am sure before, NZ had that famous 6 oclock rush, when the pubs closed at 6. Those days we had the half gee. A glass holding half a gallon of beer, and possibly other things. It was a dash to finish at work in the ship and retreat to the pub, with many people lined up for their beer. Solution, a number of us has the job of having a number of half gees and had them filled at the pub,resulting with us beign back on the ship, well before 6 resuling being able to quietly suck are beer. It was of course the days of corks, jammed in to the jars. To remove them and not filling the jar with cork, use the packing screws. Extra bonus, we didnt spill any. We did have one problem, when we left NZ, what to do with the jars. I have been told that you can navigate your way from Auckland to Sydney through the emptys. I suppose cans ended that one.
> Jim B


 Jim! Whilst finding your reminiscing about the use of packing-screws (in NZ) for opening the "half-gees", to get at the ale inside, interesting, and showing another use for the packing-screw, it's not really a new idea as here, in Britain, there was a cunning invention called "The Corkscrew". (Probably invented "When Christ were a lad"). Perhaps "The Corkscrew" (a device invented for removing corks from bottles) hadn't reached NZ, in the dim distant time (the 60's, "If you can remember them you weren't there!") you're talking about, so, in a way you, and your compadres, are to be congratulated for using the humble packing-screw as "A Corkscrew".

Moving on!!!

Your supposition that cans ended the undisputed nav-aid that those discarded bottles, undoubtedly provided, is incorrect I'm afraid.

Au contraire mon ami!

We, in Brock's, used to say you could easily find your way from London to Calcutta by all the empty Tennents cans on the bottom of the oggin. Salaams, Phil (Redeveloper of the packing-screw [small]).(Hippy)


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## spongebob (Dec 11, 2007)

It reminds me of the time I had to pull a couple of old turns of packing out to the stern tube and replace them with new before sailing.
Using a big flexible shaft packing puller I wound it up a couple of revs to get a deep penetration before hauling the first turn out when my hand slipped and the tee handle whipped back hitting my left thumb nail at high speed.
It hurt like hell but I was brave!
We set sail that evening, the second took over the sea watch and I went up to my bunk . That's when the thumb really started to throb so off I went down to the engine room to put a clean new 1/16" drill bit in the Denbeigh drill press set at high speed and to gently introduce my nail to the point.
At that moment in walked the Second to ask what I was up to and just as the drill eased through, a huge relief for me but a swooning Second who nearly passed out at the sight of the blood spurt!

Bob


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## Steve Hodges (Feb 12, 2007)

Dear Mr Chill, 
Congratulations on your earth-shattering discovery. Can you now bring the beam of your genius to bear on a use for packing extractors with two thirds of the "piggies tail" broken off? I'm pretty sure there are more of them about than whole ones.........


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## dannic (Mar 10, 2013)

spongebob said:


> It reminds me of the time I had to pull a couple of old turns of packing out to the stern tube and replace them with new before sailing.
> Using a big flexible shaft packing puller I wound it up a couple of revs to get a deep penetration before hauling the first turn out when my hand slipped and the tee handle whipped back hitting my left thumb nail at high speed.
> It hurt like hell but I was brave!
> We set sail that evening, the second took over the sea watch and I went up to my bunk . That's when the thumb really started to throb so off I went down to the engine room to put a clean new 1/16" drill bit in the Denbeigh drill press set at high speed and to gently introduce my nail to the point.
> ...


Never got a packing extractor to work, better with a bent and sharpened welding rod!
Drilling the nail - one tanker the 4th was putting burner back in one of the boilers and mistimed it, slammed all 8 fingers in between fixed and moving parts. I had heard of either the hot needle or a very small drill so we tried out both on him! Drill was better as needle tended to hurt more. At least he didn't lose his nails.....and didn't get any off watch time!
Dannic


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## Winmar (Feb 13, 2016)

benjidog said:


> Very interesting but does it work with curly hair? If so do you need both right and left-handed threads to get all the buggers out?
> 
> Come to that, if you have curly hair, does it all curl clockwise or anti-clockwise or a mixture of both?
> 
> We need to be told!


Are we talking about the long curly hair once worn on the head or the short and curly variety worn down below. It should work for the head type but I always found that a good cough got rid of the other type!(Jester)


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## Varley (Oct 1, 2006)

Wouldn't a better engineering solution (prior to mechanical seals that is) to have screw tops instead of needing those long handled corkscrews?


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## Engine Serang (Oct 15, 2012)

On Texaco ships packing extractors came in a variety of sizes, all of them useless. You should be in the running for a Queens Award for Innovation for finding a use for them.
You could have one of them chrome plated and present the Blonde with it on her next birthday and she could use it to clear the plughole. Alternatively she could screw it up the ar$e of her Ex and maybe extract his brains.


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## sternchallis (Nov 15, 2015)

Do they only work on blonde hairs?

What about 'hair of the dog'?


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## Robert Hilton (Feb 13, 2011)

An Irish landlady once asked me to see if I could get her cistern working. It turned out that she only meant the lavatory cistern in a vacant flat. I found the ball cock failed to admit water even when open. (I apologise for the tantalising nature of some of the terminology here. It's strictly technical.) As the water supply came from the somewhat boggy locality I suspected that the ball valve was clogged. I still have a number of gimlets of various sizes. One fitted the jet of the plastic ball valve and neatly and easily pulled out a plug of turf (or peat) that had gathered there. Job done. So does a packing screw resemble a gimlet in any way? I'm just deck, but I can make square sennit from sail twine if you are stuck for packing.


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## sternchallis (Nov 15, 2015)

Robert Hilton said:


> An Irish landlady once asked me to see if I could get her cistern working. It turned out that she only meant the lavatory cistern in a vacant flat. I found the ball cock failed to admit water even when open. (I apologise for the tantalising nature of some of the terminology here. It's strictly technical.) As the water supply came from the somewhat boggy locality I suspected that the ball valve was clogged. I still have a number of gimlets of various sizes. One fitted the jet of the plastic ball valve and neatly and easily pulled out a plug of turf (or peat) that had gathered there. Job done. So does a packing screw resemble a gimlet in any way? I'm just deck, but I can make square sennit from sail twine if you are stuck for packing.


Yes it does in a way but has a flexible shaft of coiled spring wire with a T handle like a gimlets. If you could imagine corkscrews of various diameters with this flexible 'shafts' about 9" to 18" long depending on the diameter, then there you have it.

Why they were useless was as the packing, particulary steam packing had got hard, the pointy bit could not dig into to it, so you wind it and the spring tension increases , so as you leave go to change your grip the spring whips back and gives the black nail.
With softer packing its so rotten that it comes away in pieces and you still cannot use it as designed, that is screw it in and pull the whole length of packing out as a cork out of a bottle.


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## spongebob (Dec 11, 2007)

Reminds me of the time the Bird class minesweeper Kiwi was in the Devonport NZ dry dock and a leading hand fitter , John Bruce , was given the last minute task of pulling the old packing out of the stern gland and repacking same. 
The new packing was delivered late in the day and when he went to fit the new he found it was 1" square section whereas 1 1/4 " was the required size.
Too late to get a replacement and with the Dock owners pushing for flooding time as other vessels were in the queue he decided to hammer the packing turns into oblong section before fitting and the job was soon done.
In rushed the water up to the shaft level and the leak went from a dribble to a steam, to an inrush and a halt to the dock flooding.
Everything put on hold until the next morning when Naval stores could supply the right side packing.
The outcome was an enquiry, the fitter was sacked , he was the fall guy for trying to make do , but he never looked back.
He had been to sea with Shaw Savill at tha latter stages of WW2 so he went 
Back to the Union Co, later sailed with me on the Kaitoa , passed his seconds then Chief tickets and finished up Chief enginner of Carrington Hospital Auckland.
Where a bit of gland packing can lead you!
Bob


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## John Jarman (Sep 17, 2009)

spongebob said:


> Reminds me of the time the Bird class minesweeper Kiwi was in the Devonport NZ dry dock and a leading hand fitter , John Bruce , was given the last minute task of pulling the old packing out of the stern gland and repacking same.
> The new packing was delivered late in the day and when he went to fit the new he found it was 1" square section whereas 1 1/4 " was the required size.
> Too late to get a replacement and with the Dock owners pushing for flooding time as other vessels were in the queue he decided to hammer the packing turns into oblong section before fitting and the job was soon done.
> In rushed the water up to the shaft level and the leak went from a dribble to a steam, to an inrush and a halt to the dock flooding.
> ...


Too right Bob - I got married on the strength of it!!!

JJ.


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## Mad Landsman (Dec 1, 2005)

The piece of kit pictured has been in my 'plumbing' tool bag for over 10 years now. 
Very handy as, just like me, it goes completely round the bend.


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