# corned beef



## geoff smith 1932

What is the safest way to open a can of corned beef if the key is missing or if the tag snaps?
Geoff


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## K urgess

Welcome aboard from East Yorkshire, Geoff.
You must've found your way around by now and if you can't find the answer maybe one of the crew can help.
Enjoy the rest of the trip.


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## tunatownshipwreck

Needle-nose pliers.


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## Duncan112

If the key is missing use a pair of long nosed pliers to wind the coil round then knock the razor sharp strip off into a suitable container (marge pot?) and bin it.

If the tag has snapped use a modern style can opener that will run round the outside of the end (rather than inside the rim, the corners are too tight)

Do not be tempted to use saws, kitchen knives that are advertised to cut through nearly anything - I still have the scar on my knuckle from a Scout camping trip!!


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## ROBERT HENDERSON

If the key is missing take it back to the shop and tell them you have been sold short.
They will probably give you eaxtra free tins rather than have you complain to the elf and safety mafia, problem solved.

(Cloud) (Cloud) (Cloud) (Cloud)


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## geoff smith 1932

*Corned Beef*

Not easy when the shop is an hours drive away,nor is it economical.
Geoff (with bandaged hand)


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## Chris Isaac

Use the axe from a lifeboat to hack it open


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## benjidog

We haven't had corned beef for ages but my wife certainly didn't know the answer to this one and I had to take her to the hospital on at least three occasions over the years with deep cuts on her hands from her clumsy efforts at opening cans without the key! I still cringe whenever she picks up a sharp knife (even when she doesn't have a psycho look in her eye).

I addressed the problem using a hammer and chisel whilst wearing gloves.

Brian


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## Steve Woodward

Gas axe, it comes out ready cooked.


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## non descript

I find that I can funnel the blue flame of the oxy-acetylene cutting torch to good effect – it has the added bonus and making the meat crisp…(Jester)


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## spongebob

Put it to the test, boil the tin in a pot and watch it explode, the worst result will be a hot corn beef soup


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## jaydeeare

Chuck it and open a tin of ham instead (Jester)


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## K urgess

Haven't seen a tin of corned beef in ages.
Ours comes ready sliced in a plastic packet.[=P]


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## Sister Eleff

Make sure that a have saved a key, from a previous succesful attempt, in the kitchen drawer. Not much use for this one but will help in a future 'missing key' situation. (==D) The long nosed pliers sounds good for the snapped tag.


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## cymruman

Use hammer and chisel , cordon off the area and dont forget to wear goggles, hard hat, gloves ,ear defenders, and overalls to prevent injury. Oh yes and prepare a method statement and risk assessment just in case of insurance claims.

Or go down the chippy instead.

Hope you haven,t starved to death in the meantime.


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## trotterdotpom

Are the keys often missing? Trust a good woman like Sister Eleff to be prepared for such a nightmarish possibility. Remember when the cases of Tennants came with a "spanner" inside? Sometimes there wasn't one...aaaaagh! Nobody was caught twice - everyone kept one handy. It was much easier to spot a seaman by the can opener on his key-ring than the parrot on his shoulder. Beer must have been more important than bully beef.

John T.


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## tunatownshipwreck

Nobody's recommended duct tape yet? What gives?


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## NoMoss

geoff smith 1932 said:


> What is the safest way to open a can of corned beef if the key is missing or if the tag snaps?
> Geoff


Dial 999 and ask for the Fire & Emergency Service - well they've had worse.


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## mcgurggle

Tin opener ??(POP) 
McG


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## Ian

Having seen my wife, on more than one occasion, spitting out number 6 shot from the pheasant she was eating in the first-class saloon of the Canberra (bragging?.... damned right!) I don't think she'd object too much if I opened it with my 12-bore.


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## andysk

bob jenkins said:


> Put it to the test, boil the tin in a pot and watch it explode, the worst result will be a hot corn beef soup


All over the ceiling and walls, so there's another job to keep you off SN, decorating the kitchen !


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## rothesian

Don't know about opening the can Geoff but you must remember some Ch/stwds who painted the slices on the plate
brgds
Alistair


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## billyboy

rothesian said:


> Don't know about opening the can Geoff but you must remember some Ch/stwds who painted the slices on the plate
> brgds
> Alistair


Ah... You mean the ones who could reslice a slice of bacon. think they all went to run guest houses in Blackpool. (Jester)


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## geoff smith 1932

Hi Alistair.I can well remember being able to see the Moss insignia on the plate through a slice of roast beef.Also the multi legged chickens ("Centifowl").
Geoff.


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## John N MacDonald

Most of the tins have ring pulls now! I've often been confused and opened a can of beer by accident!(Pint)


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## David W

The best thing to do with a, keyless, tin of corned beef is "changee for changee" with the Port Said boatmen.


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## David W

billyboy said:


> Ah... You mean the ones who could reslice a slice of bacon. think they all went to run guest houses in Blackpool. (Jester)


Why bother slicing corned beef, a really efficient cook would leave it somewhere warm, so that it melted and was easier to spread.


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## chadburn

Still love Corned Beef fritters and so do a lot of other people, the shelf where they are kept at my local Morrisons is nearly always M.T.


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## Ray Mac

*Waha*

:sweat: Freeze the tin of bully then open with tin opener should get 30 slices 1 per man(Thumb)


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## non descript

Burned Toast said:


> :... should get 30 slices 1 per man(Thumb)


Having been looked after by Houlders and fed with maximum style, I had not realise until this discussion came to light, that anyone actually sliced the contents and then shared it !… I always assumed it was one tin, per man, per plate. (Jester)


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## Janner100

benjidog said:


> ...
> 
> I addressed the problem using a hammer and chisel whilst wearing gloves.
> 
> Brian


Good answer. The glovees are, of course essential to save a blood blister under the nail of a thumb.


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## Ray Mac

*Corned dog*

All the ship did not benifit from John Houlder and Fry Bentos(Jester) on the River plate(Smoke)


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## duquesa

*Corned Beef*

Having watched it being made in BA in the 50's I never wanted to see a can of the stuff again!


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## Tony Breach

Most practical kitchen shops sell an oversized re-usable key with an open ended slot. Put it over the tab, open the can & the nasty sharp bit more or less falls off the end. I always bought half a dozen for the ship with a couple each in the galley & pantries. Saved having blood in the sarnies.
Tony.


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## JimC

Before answering sensibly: what does the word 'corned' mean? - on second thoughts; don't bother!

Actually everyone who has ever watched 'Rambo' knows that the best way is to use a shaped charge of C4 round the rim - cover with three feet of sand bagging and detonate using a modified TV remote which must have a wee red light that flashes and makes the sound of beep.beep, beep, faster and faster and faster. Main problem is obtaining suitable sand unless you live in Egypt. On the other hand - if you do live there - just give it to the Gully-gully man - he'll empty it (like your wallet) without even opening it.

This is all so true!


JImC.


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## John Rogers

Whats hard using a tin opener.


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## JimC

John Rogers said:


> Whats hard using a tin opener.


Depend what you mean and what your using it on!


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## kevjacko

Right then here goes from a veteran of the corned beef tin type cuts which sting like buggery.

use a tin opener to take off the bottom ( the widest end ) now sometimes you can also remove the top, depending on the brand. Run the tin under the hot tap and the meat will slide out. If youv'e got a tin with a key on it then make sure you hold the whole thing in a tea towel when you pull the bottom off to stop yourself getting cut off the open edge.


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## william dillon

tunatownshipwreck said:


> Nobody's recommended duct tape yet? What gives?


O.K., use "Duct Tape" to stem the flow of blood. LOL.(Jester)


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## benjidog

william dillon said:


> O.K., use "Duct Tape" to stem the flow of blood. LOL.(Jester)


Interesting idea there William.

In the days of Long John Silver, they sealed the end of a severed leg with pitch as I recall. Now if they had had duct tape in those days ........ 

and the "silver" nickname would have been even more appropriate. (Jester)


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## andy forbes

to open a difficult corned beef can get an angle grinder! and you get your ration of iron into the bargain.

keep em coming
andy F


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## Norm

I opened a tin of bully beef only yesterday! Missus thought we would have some in a salad. I mentioned when I was opening the can that I'd better be careful and not break the tag. Whats that about ring pulls nowadays? The use by date seen faintly through the rust was 1948, whats the problem??

Once upon a long time ago we saved the can openers (spanners) from the slabs of beer to make a chain of office worn by the mess president, whos word was law, as long as he wore the opener chain.


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## stevie burgess

trotterdotpom said:


> Are the keys often missing? Trust a good woman like Sister Eleff to be prepared for such a nightmarish possibility. Remember when the cases of Tennants came with a "spanner" inside? Sometimes there wasn't one...aaaaagh! Nobody was caught twice - everyone kept one handy. It was much easier to spot a seaman by the can opener on his key-ring than the parrot on his shoulder. Beer must have been more important than bully beef.
> 
> John T.


Aye i remember years ago when a seaman carried a tennants can opener rather than a deck knife before the ring pull was invented. HAPPY DAYS!!


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## axelhanes

tunatownshipwreck said:


> Needle-nose pliers.


I also faced same problem that i don't know where my key gone but then i try needle-nose pillers it help me but takes to much hard work any ways thanks....


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## 40907

Use a 4 pound hammer. It doesn't work but it feels good and eases the frustration a bit.


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## Billieboy

A diver friend of mine uses cutting tube explosive, use the duct tape to hold it in position on two long and one short sides of the tin at the bottom(largest end), proceed to open space, Sand bag the site, at least four deep, retire to bunker, sound alarm, count down from ten and *bingo! 

The tin is open! *


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## John Cassels

Billieboy said:


> A diver friend of mine uses cutting tube explosive, use the duct tape to hold it in position on two long and one short sides of the tin at the bottom(largest end), proceed to open space, Sand bag the site, at least four deep, retire to bunker, sound alarm, count down from ten and *bingo!
> 
> The tin is open! *


Ah , that's the secret of corned beef hash.


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## chadburn

Remember Aberdeen!!!(EEK) I never eat corned beef for years after that, now myself and the grandaughter can demolish a tin between us, once I chisel it open.(Thumb)


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## john fraser

chadburn said:


> Remember Aberdeen!!!(EEK) I never eat corned beef for years after that, now myself and the grandaughter can demolish a tin between us, once I chisel it open.(Thumb)


Why were over 500 Aberdonians affected by a 6lb tin of Corned Beef?
Answer: Only an Aberdonian could get that number of slices out of the tin.

I sailed in and out of Aberdeen twice weekly during the typhoid scare, missing only one week. No corned beef on the menu during that period


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## Splinter

Use a tin opener, cut both ends off and push out, if you only remove large end, push a table knife down the side and using the side of the tin lever it out, you'll never cut your hands this way.


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## tsell

Lay it on a train track, just before dinner. Gotta get yer timing right!

Taff


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## tsell

Splinter said:


> Use a tin opener, cut both ends off and push out, if you only remove large end, push a table knife down the side and using the side of the tin lever it out, you'll never cut your hands this way.


Good idea, he wouldn't get a splinter that way!

Taff


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## BarnacleGrim

I was going to ask if you had a second tin, but if you did you'd probably have opened it for a snack while pondering on the first one.


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## 40907

BarnacleGrim said:


> I was going to ask if you had a second tin, but if you did you'd probably have opened it for a snack while pondering on the first one.


Its been 2 years... The beef is off!


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