# Poem in "Signal"?



## Mimcoman (May 18, 2008)

I have memories of two poems which appeared in "Signal", the REOU magazine. One of them is the well known parody of Kipling's "If" poem as modified for Sparkies, which starts off:

"If you can keep your head when all about you
Are stations jamming hard and blaming you."
etc. 

But there was another one about an R/O calling GKA on his Oceanspan, which started

"I've called Portishead both by night and by day.
I've call him from (xxxx?) and the Bay of Biscay.
I've called him for hours 'neath the tropical sun.
And I've called him a blankety son of a gun.

(Chorus)
Tooraloo, tooralay
I'll sent flowers by the million through old GKA.

With full power power on my 'span sure Ive called and I've called.
But it's seldom he bothers to answer at all.
QRY20 is making me ill.
Then the gentleman tells me "You're QSA nil".

etc etc.

Does anyone know the rest of it?

(I think it was written by a certain R/O who was notorious in the letters pages of Signal for complaining about GKA, so much so that the editor eventually told him that he was going too far and his correspondence would no longer be published.)

Just for old times sake...


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## King Ratt (Aug 23, 2005)

Hello Mimcoman

This is the "If" poem in ful. I have not heard the Oceanspan one but hopefully someone will post it.

"If you can keep your nerves when all about you
Are stations jamming hard and blaming you;
If you can 'hold the air' though others flout you,
Until you get your longest message through;
If you can send and not grow weary sending,
Nor overtire the man who has to read;
If your mistakes are rare but prompt their mending,
If you believe that haste is never speed.
If you can calmly contemplate the chatter
Of greenhorn operators fresh from school;
If you can wait with messages that matter
And wait until they're finished - and keep cool.
If you can read through half a dozen stations
The weaker signals that were meant for you
And pick'em out with few interrogations
Yet never feel ashamed to ask those few
If you' re a Jack-of-all-Trades - Tinker, Tailor,
If there is scarce a job you cannot do,
If you're an Electrician and a Sailor
Telegrapher, Accountant. Laywer, too;
If you're propelled by energy that's tireless,
If you don't fear a job that's never done.
Then take my word - you're fit to work at WIRELESS
And ANYTHING YOU GET YOU'LL EARN, MY SON."

Anonymous writer.


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## Mimcoman (May 18, 2008)

Many thanks, KR:

I have a copy of the Sparkie's "IF" which I typed out from the "original" - or so I thought - in Signal and used to pin up in the radio room as a conversation piece. (You'd be surprised how many 2/Os and 3/Os wanted to discuss it...) But I've since found a few different versions going the rounds.


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## King Ratt (Aug 23, 2005)

Hi Mimcoman. I believe this Sparkies "IF" first appeared around 1930.

73

KR


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