# I'm a non-traditional cruiser...



## jamesgpobog

I like to liven things up a bit. Lifeboat drill, Captain's dinner, and in the dining room when the waiters were singing, I joined in the festivities.
I did not wear the Grouchos when meeting the Captain, I truly did not want to be disrespectful to him, though I was completely unaware my fly was open...


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## Wribbenhall

And you are the number one reason why I don't go on cruises......


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## Satanic Mechanic

Wribbenhall said:


> And you are the number one reason why I don't go on cruises......


If anyone ever wondered the meaning of 'post-ironic' - this may help


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## Basil

Oh Gawd! Is the third pic mandatory jolly post prandial singing solidarity?
I'd probably eat in my cabin


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## Steve

I like it, I would rather have a punter like this on my table than some miserable old duffer wearing an ancient P&O tie banging on about the weather(==D)


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## Satanic Mechanic

Steve said:


> I like it, I would rather have a punter like this on my table than some miserable old duffer wearing an ancient P&O tie banging on about the weather(==D)


Being Nostalgic??(Smoke)


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## McCloggie

Admit it SM - it is really you in disguise!

McC


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## Mariner44

Steve said:


> I like it, I would rather have a punter like this on my table than some miserable old duffer wearing an ancient P&O tie banging on about the weather(==D)


I'm with you on this one, Steve. Much more preferable to having a mobile "cruise critic" banging on about what it was like on previous cruises and how this one isn't as good. Moaning Minnie's drive me mad!


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## sidsal

Been on the Arcadia Southampton to Dubai - 9 to 28th Jan. Cruised since the 50's and I think this will have been our last cruise. Reasons -
See nothing at sea due to separation lanes and the fact they keep miles and miles off any land - boring , boring.
Ships too big - too many bods crowding everywhere you go.
As someone said - too many boring people boasting about how many cruises they've done.
All in all - it;s like most things - a good thing has been ruined by trying to maximise profits with mega ships and treating people like cattle/sheep.

If we go again it will be on small ships going to places where these monsters can't go.


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## Erimus

.....as a regular cruiser now I'm glad I hadn't met the thread poster ( or should that be poser) on my 'trips'........

geoff


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## Mad Landsman

The good point about the big cruise ships is that you get to meet such a huge variety of people - As an ardent people watcher I find the whole thing quite fascinating.
Then again, some critics say that the ships are crowded - I have done the odd 'walk through' with my video camera with hardly ever any problem of so called crowds getting in the way (on one occasion maybe the paper bags on the stairways was a clue).
As Steve points out - There are worse out there, and what's the odds that you can find an ally or two to engage in a meaningful discussion to counteract the truly dreadful.


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## Ron Dean

sidsal said:


> Been on the Arcadia Southampton to Dubai - 9 to 28th Jan. Cruised since the 50's and I think this will have been our last cruise. Reasons -
> See nothing at sea due to separation lanes and the fact they keep miles and miles off any land - boring , boring.
> Ships too big - too many bods crowding everywhere you go.
> As someone said - too many boring people boasting about how many cruises they've done.
> All in all - it;s like most things - a good thing has been ruined by trying to maximise profits with mega ships and treating people like cattle/sheep.
> 
> If we go again it will be on small ships going to places where these monsters can't go.


sidsal - We must be on the same wavelength (no pun intended).
My wife& I made just 1 cruise a few years ago, visiting 10 Caribbean islands where we spent a day on each - most of the sailing being through the night.
It was a new experience for us, but with 1,875 passengers on board we found it far too many. (Sheep/cattle herded off & on at every port of call).
In earlier years we've travelled by freighter where 12 passengers is the max. On more than one occassion we've been the only passengers & on 3 sailings we've had the relative luxury of being given the owners cabin.
We 've always been welcome on the bridge (keeping a low profile) and safety permitting we've had access to most areas on the ship.
No dressing up to dine with the Captain & Officers, and we've rarely met any officers or crew members whose company we did not enjoy.
Only our ages (75+) or prohibitively high travel insurance, now prevents us from still travelling by freighter.

Ron.


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## Erimus

Mad Landsman said:


> The good point about the big cruise ships is that you get to meet such a huge variety of people - As an ardent people watcher I find the whole thing quite fascinating.
> Then again, some critics say that the ships are crowded - I have done the odd 'walk through' with my video camera with hardly ever any problem of so called crowds getting in the way (on one occasion maybe the paper bags on the stairways was a clue).
> As Steve points out - There are worse out there, and what's the odds that you can find an ally or two to engage in a meaningful discussion to counteract the truly dreadful.


Fair comment(s)........Have been on two large ships in last six months, Independence of the Seas (to the Canaries) and Diamond Princess ( Alaska/Pacific/ Far East) and I have never had problems in finding somewhere quiet even on the 'Parade' evenings...and yes have always found someone to 'chew the cud with'....

geoff


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## jamesgpobog

Wow...tough room. Hey, I don't run around like that all the time. Actually prefer to sit on the balcony with a good book.

When I did that dance in the dining room with the waiters, there was a kid about 10 at the next table that almost fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard.




> Oh Gawd! Is the third pic mandatory jolly post prandial singing solidarity?


 I don't understand a word of that, but I'm thinking it's probably not good.


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## sparkie2182

" the fact they keep miles and miles off any land - boring , boring."

Try Costa.


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## Wribbenhall

jamesgpobog said:


> When I did that dance in the dining room with the waiters, there was a kid about 10 at the next table that almost fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard.QUOTE]
> 
> 
> James
> Do the cruise directors not frown upon children's entertainers like yourself having free access to the dining and other public areas,and possibly,sorry-probably ,annoying other passengers?
> 
> W.B.H.


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## Boatman25

sparkie2182 said:


> " the fact they keep miles and miles off any land - boring , boring."
> 
> Try Costa.


He he, like that one Sparkie


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## Mad Landsman

sparkie2182 said:


> " the fact they keep miles and miles off any land - boring , boring."
> 
> Try Costa.


Nice one!

But why do I have the sneaking feeling that it might change? 

And:
If any cruisers like land so much then try doing a trip on all the major canals in the world, (or even river cruising.)


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## sparkie2182

Thanks Ollie...........

"Every one a gem"


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## trotterdotpom

sparkie2182 said:


> " the fact they keep miles and miles off any land - boring , boring."
> 
> Try Costa.


Now I know the meaning of "coast-ironic".

John T


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## Binnacle

Surprised that wearing a groucho mask at boat drill would be tolerated, unless he had learning difficulties.


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## sparkie2182

I wouldn't mind............but he was the Captain.


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## Derek Roger

I always remember life boat drill ( every Sunday morning in Brocklebanks ; after Captains inspection of the ship ) Every one ( no exceptions had to have a hat ; did not matter if it was uniform or a base ball cap ) No hat you would be sent down to your cabin to get one . That delayed everyone in finishing the Board of Trade Sports as we called it . Also cost a round in the bar afterwards .
It does not seem to be the case with passenger ships .
Perhaps it is because they are not open boats anymore ; no chance of sunstroke .


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## jamesgpobog

Wribbenhall said:


> jamesgpobog said:
> 
> 
> 
> When I did that dance in the dining room with the waiters, there was a kid about 10 at the next table that almost fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard.QUOTE]
> 
> 
> James
> Do the cruise directors not frown upon children's entertainers like yourself having free access to the dining and other public areas,and possibly,sorry-probably ,annoying other passengers?
> 
> W.B.H.
> 
> 
> 
> I did it when they turned their back....
Click to expand...


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## Satanic Mechanic

jamesgpobog said:


> Wow...tough room.


Ah you see you are showing signs of non conformist behaviour and as such are a heretic in these parts.

I recommend a dose of this once a day 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/index.html

and you will be assimilated in no time at all.

You should also be made aware that the following must be observed:

1. Lifeboat drills once a week with no hilarity 
2. Facing east and singing Jerusalem every day
3. If have been in a war you have to state this frequently


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## jamesgpobog

Satanic Mechanic said:


> Ah you see you are showing signs of non conformist behaviour and as such are a heretic in these parts.
> 
> I recommend a dose of this once a day
> 
> http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/index.html
> 
> and you will be assimilated in no time at all.
> 
> You should also be made aware that the following must be observed:
> 
> 1. Lifeboat drills once a week with no hilarity
> 2. Facing east and singing Jerusalem every day
> 3. If have been in a war you have to state this frequently



Wait.......wait just a sec......this is all starting to sound vaguely familiar......




...and did I mention I was in the Vietnam war?


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## Satanic Mechanic

jamesgpobog said:


> Wait.......wait just a sec......this is all starting to sound vaguely familiar......
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ...and did I mention I was in the Vietnam war?


well done number 89


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## jamesgpobog

Satanic Mechanic said:


> well done number 89


Aw crap. 89? Man, what's a guy gotta do to at least break the top 25? I was in the war and everything...


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## Satanic Mechanic

jamesgpobog said:


> Aw crap. 89? Man, what's a guy gotta do to at least break the top 25? I was in the war and everything...


Stick with the Daily Mail and you'll be there in no time


or you could try slumming it with me down the lower 30000s

Of course you could always just bribe Steve - thats how MJ made it to 23


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## jamesgpobog

Satanic Mechanic said:


> Stick with the Daily Mail and you'll be there in no time
> 
> 
> or you could try slumming it with me down the lower 30000s
> 
> Of course you could always just bribe Steve - thats how MJ made it to 23


Well OK. At least you didn't tell me I had to do that other thing. That's a relief because her pimp told me he destroyed the negatives.


I was in the war, you know...


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## sparkie2182

Does it matter who's war it was?


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## jamesgpobog

sparkie2182 said:


> Does it matter who's war it was?


I dunno. I haven't read that rule yet. Satanic mechanic told me it helps to mention it constantly so I was just following his advice....


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## Basil

> I did it when they turned their back....


I've a pic of self on Red Square sporting a large plastic red nose.
It went on - take pic - back in pocket before the guards noticed (?HUH)


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## PatriciaAnnT

Steve said:


> I like it, I would rather have a punter like this on my table than some miserable old duffer wearing an ancient P&O tie banging on about the weather(==D)


Isn't there something in between?


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## joebuckham

PatriciaAnnT said:


> Isn't there something in between?


(MAD)not on this site(==D)


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## jamesgpobog

Basil said:


> I've a pic of self on Red Square sporting a large plastic red nose.
> It went on - take pic - back in pocket before the guards noticed (?HUH)


Isn't Red Square for the Ruskies like the Alamo for Texans? I mean it's taken very very seriously, right?


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## blurb10

you look and sound like a
right pain in the ****.
regards Bob R.


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## jamesgpobog

blurb10 said:


> you look and sound like a
> right pain in the ****.
> regards Bob R.


Now that's not nice. Cruising is about fun, no? At least I'm not posting the naked-on-the-balcony ones...


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## blurb10

would rather see the naked balcony shots

regards Bob R


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## R719220

blurb10 said:


> would rather see the naked balcony shots
> 
> regards Bob R


Better hope you don't get what you wish for...[=P](EEK)


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## jamesgpobog

R719220 said:


> Better hope you don't get what you wish for...[=P](EEK)


Fear not, I am famous for my 'Blue Dot'. And I'm wearing the Grouchos then too...


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## sparkie2182

In case you were wondering James..........You are entitled to post here whenever you wish.

Your posts are a lot less offensive than many which have appeared here in the past.

Post #37 springs to mind.


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## R719220

Breath of fresh air!!


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## jamesgpobog

sparkie2182 said:


> In case you were wondering James..........You are entitled to post here whenever you wish.
> 
> Your posts are a lot less offensive than many which have appeared here in the past.
> 
> Post #37 springs to mind.


Thanks, Sparkie. I will explain a little about myself. ESPECIALLY on line, I am 90% about going for the laugh, the joke. That covers most any subject...almost every one. It's just the way my brain/internal dialogue works, it pops out one liners very often.

I also like to write and consider myself a small portion of a wordsmith. Almost all my posts (there are exceptions) I craft, including this one. I choose and change words before I hit the 'post' button.

The subjects that I joke about less fall mainly into the subject of 'politics', but I think my tone changes too, it will become very clear in my words that I am not joking about what I am saying.

That thread that got moved, 'Poor America', is a good example. I was starting to get on my soapbox. I've decided to let that thread drop, mainly because this seems to be mainly a Brit/European board. I am a guest, and getting into fights with the locals is really not what I want to do. It does bother me though to see the mindless and uninformed America bashing, so I'm just going to avoid that stuff here. I'd rather go for the joke...

Thanks for your support, Sparkie...(Thumb)


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## Ron Dean

jamesgpobog said:


> Isn't Red Square for the Ruskies like the Alamo for Texans? I mean it's taken very very seriously, right?


Yes James, I think Basil took a bit of a risk with his red nose, but I'm not sure that your Groucho, would be too well received in Red Square.


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## jamesgpobog

R719220 said:


> Breath of fresh air!!


You referring to me? If so, thanks.


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## R719220

jamesgpobog said:


> You referring to me? If so, thanks.


Of course! This thread has made a nice, light hearted change to some of the more serious ones (eg the Costa Concordia thread) and I'm enjoying it.


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## jamesgpobog

R719220 said:


> Of course! This thread has made a nice, light hearted change to some of the more serious ones (eg the Costa Concordia thread) and I'm enjoying it.


Again, I am humbled. I will try to never disappoint...


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## sparkie2182

............. as the intern said to the President.


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## jamesgpobog

sparkie2182 said:


> ............. as the intern said to the President.


(Jester)


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## Satanic Mechanic

jamesgpobog said:


> Thanks, Sparkie. I will explain a little about myself. ESPECIALLY on line, I am 90% about going for the laugh, the joke. That covers most any subject...almost every one. It's just the way my brain/internal dialogue works, it pops out one liners very often.
> 
> I also like to write and consider myself a small portion of a wordsmith. Almost all my posts (there are exceptions) I craft, including this one. I choose and change words before I hit the 'post' button.
> 
> The subjects that I joke about less fall mainly into the subject of 'politics', but I think my tone changes too, it will become very clear in my words that I am not joking about what I am saying.
> 
> That thread that got moved, 'Poor America', is a good example. I was starting to get on my soapbox. I've decided to let that thread drop, mainly because this seems to be mainly a Brit/European board. I am a guest, and getting into fights with the locals is really not what I want to do. It does bother me though to see the mindless and uninformed America bashing, so I'm just going to avoid that stuff here. I'd rather go for the joke...
> 
> Thanks for your support, Sparkie...(Thumb)


Stormy Weather - you need to be of a certain mind to post down there without getting into personal insults - personally I love it but we haven't had some really good action down there for ages (Chilly having a stroke didn't help matters(for the record I dont think he was actually posting there at the time))

As you have probably noticed there are some real charmers on here - they will tell you they are 'straight talkers' which apparently is a euphamism for just plain rude. There are however a shed load of really engaging posters who know how to have a good heated discussion. But more than that this is a an absolute goldmine of experience and information - enjoy mate.(Thumb)


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## septiclecky

sparkie2182 said:


> " the fact they keep miles and miles off any land - boring , boring."
> 
> Try Costa.


Think thats a bit to close for my liking[=D]


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## chadburn

Satanic Mechanic said:


> Stormy Weather - you need to be of a certain mind to post down there without getting into personal insults - personally I love it but we haven't had some really good action down there for ages (Chilly having a stroke didn't help matters(for the record I dont think he was actually posting there at the time))
> 
> As you have probably noticed there are some real charmers on here - they will tell you they are 'straight talkers' which apparently is a euphamism for just plain rude. There are however a shed load of really engaging posters who know how to have a good heated discussion. But more than that this is a an absolute goldmine of experience and information - enjoy mate.(Thumb)


Wow, now I have read everything, talk about double standards, or should it be no standards at all, is this the same Mechanic who on a discussion about member's medal's, awards etc made the stupid and childish comment "Show me your Medal's Mister" That comment comes under the heading of "just plain rude"


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## Satanic Mechanic

chadburn said:


> Wow, now I have read everything, talk about double standards, or should it be no standards at all, is this the same Mechanic who on a discussion about member's medal's, awards etc made the stupid and childish comment "Show me your Medal's Mister" That comment comes under the heading of "just plain rude"



Vast Ego......................................You forgot to mention my Vast Ego

Yeesh its like herding cats sometimes


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## John Jarman

Satanic Mechanic said:


> Vast Ego......................................You forgot to mention my Vast Ego
> 
> Yeesh its like herding cats sometimes


Well YOU said it - Yeesh!!!

JJ.


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## chadburn

Satanic Mechanic said:


> Vast Ego......................................You forgot to mention my Vast Ego
> 
> Yeesh its like herding cats sometimes


Divn,t fret lad it's just a bit of engineroom banter, but as you have never served in the MN or RN it would confuse you.


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## Satanic Mechanic

Dime Bar


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## jmcg

Satanic Mechanic;578264 said:


> Stormy Weather - you need to be of a certain mind to post down there without getting into personal insults - personally I love it but we haven't had some really good action down there for ages
> 
> Stormy weather has not recovered since Jonty was the subject of private damaging "hate mail" from a few from 'down under'.
> 
> 
> BW
> 
> J(Gleam)(Gleam)


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## Satanic Mechanic

jmcg said:


> Satanic Mechanic;578264 said:
> 
> 
> 
> Stormy Weather - you need to be of a certain mind to post down there without getting into personal insults - personally I love it but we haven't had some really good action down there for ages
> 
> Stormy weather has not recovered since Jonty was the subject of private damaging "hate mail" from a few from 'down under'.
> 
> 
> BW
> 
> J(Gleam)(Gleam)
> 
> 
> 
> Sigh - true, its just not the same without him(Sad)
> 
> I mean we can still argue but its missing that topless in the mud wrestling feel
Click to expand...


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## DAVID ALCOCK

whats wrong with river cruises we did a (amsterdam-switzerland*)cruise and saw hundreds of ships.shame we broke down ;engines cooling system swallowed a plastic bag and 2 engines overheated and siezed : and spent a week in WESSEL!!!!!
german supply efficiancy meant we ran out of food!!!!!this was sorted when the captain had no BANANA for breakfast(lead for monkey jokes)


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