# Fog Locker



## tedc (Dec 31, 2006)

I'm putting a few items together in my "fog locker".

Already I have managed to acquire a "long stand" which fits in there OK if I stand it upright.

I also expect to be able to find mumified versions of the famous "Bombay 6 wheeler" and an Indian Ocean Bird "Shy Talk" (I think it's called).

A washable Durex was found in a ship's medical locker and is currently at the laundry.

Does anyone have any of those flying crabs which you can only kill by pouring paraffin on them and setting them alight?

I'd also like to find a copy of the Ship Captain's Medical Guide - specifically the one which says, at the bottom of the page " you will see a large vein going from left to right...cut this " -----Then on the next page it says "...and the patient will die!"

Anyone suggest any other items which might raise a chuckle on a boring day?

(Scribe)


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## edward (Dec 3, 2005)

bucket of steam.regards edward


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## John Rogers (May 11, 2004)

Prop wash, and the old key to the kielson.
John


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## makko (Jul 20, 2006)

"Spare-Lash" from the fo'csle head!

Dave


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## pete (Mar 13, 2005)

"Pigeons Milk", and of course "Green Oil for the Starboard Lamp", by the way any idea where I can a small can of "Elbow Grease"???..........................pete


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## pete (Mar 13, 2005)

Missed out word BUY. Oh well...............pete


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## John_F (May 12, 2005)

How about a few Irish Pennants? If you haven't got any of those you could always go looking for the Golden Rivet.
Kind regards,
John F.


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## norman.r (Apr 25, 2006)

Straw for the Old Man's tiger. Heard that on the Aureol once.
Norman


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## kottemann (Feb 3, 2007)

Striped paint, feed the keel pig, wooden shackle, glass mallet,


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## Mad Landsman (Dec 1, 2005)

Left handed screwdriver.


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## JoK (Nov 12, 2006)

The chummie


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## alexmackinnon (Dec 11, 2006)

Balls for the snooker table.


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## K urgess (Aug 14, 2006)

Bags of carrots for the Panama mules (LOL)


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## billyboy (Jul 6, 2005)

blue unction for those returnig. monkeys for the island. rubber tapping mallet for the main steam guage. spring balance for weighing the anchor.


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## Brian Twyman (Apr 3, 2005)

A diesel driven dishcloth and a scupper mopper upper.
Brian


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## dom (Feb 10, 2006)

*dom*

dont forget the bucket of steam


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## Brian Twyman (Apr 3, 2005)

......and another bucket of best scoch mist..
brian


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## billyboy (Jul 6, 2005)

and the filopian tubes from the stores in the tunnel


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## Tmac1720 (Jun 24, 2005)

Seagulls perches, sky hooks and a vertical steam trap.(Jester)


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## tedc (Dec 31, 2006)

Many Thanks for all of the replies!

My fog locker is looking good.


By the way, none of us ever fell for any of those old tricks did we?


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## Mad Landsman (Dec 1, 2005)

And of course if one were to go to an old-hand Navy storeman and ask for a 'ball of string' What would be the response!


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## non descript (Nov 18, 2005)

tedc said:


> Many Thanks for all of the replies!
> 
> My fog locker is looking good.
> 
> ...


Ted, I have to confess to doing worse than “falling for one of those”.... at the tender age of 16 when I knew it all, I was determined not to be caught out looking for a _“Long Weight” _or worse, so when the Captain said _“Pop up to the monkey island laddie and take down the Two Black Balls” _I gave a chuckle, smiled knowingly, making the reply that no one was going to catch me out......

It’s quite cold cleaning the monkey island with suggee cloth a teepol in December.... (==D)


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## Bridie (Oct 9, 2006)

Clockman said:


> And of course if one were to go to an old-hand Navy storeman and ask for a 'ball of string' What would be the response!


Not sure about the Grey Funnel Line, but Lampy would tell you politely that there was "no F*&^&%$ string on a ship!" or ropes for that matter - save the bell rope!
Also, thought that "Irish Pennants" was slang for loose stuff flying about from rigging etc.


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## Mad Landsman (Dec 1, 2005)

Bridie said:


> Not sure about the Grey Funnel Line, but Lampy would tell you politely that there was "no F*&^&%$ string on a ship!" or ropes for that matter - save the bell rope!
> 
> And to really wind him up you then say "Well you want to get some it's good stuff!"


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## Bridie (Oct 9, 2006)

Tonga said:


> Ted, I have to confess to doing worse than “falling for one of those”.... at the tender age of 16 when I knew it all, I was determine not to be caught out looking for a _“Long Weight” _or worse, so when the Captain said _“Pop up to the monkey island laddie and take down the Two Black Balls” _I gave a chuckle, smiled knowingly, making the reply that no one was going to catch me out......


Like you Tonga, I thought I was being taken a loan of when on the phones aft during my first docking and was asked by the bridge if "the Second Mate had got a breast out yet?". I ignored it 3 times and eventually the same question - with added expletives - came via megaphone from the wing of the bridge!


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## eldersuk (Oct 24, 2005)

Had a new Junior Eng on the Accra running round the engine room in desperation looking for the valve to put steam on the organ for the Old Man's church service. The Senior Electrician gave the same lad an electricity bill at the end of the voyage. The Purser was a bit nonplussed when he turned up to pay it.

Derek


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## Harry Nicholson (Oct 11, 2005)

On a Brocks ship an engineer from Carlisle baited a quartermaster, from Dublin, without mercy and at every opportunity. It all came to an end one day when, during a few beers, the Irish chap suddenly set about his tormentor with his fists. The baiter ended up cowering beneath his own daybed in terror. The rest of us looked on without a murmur and continued to concentrate on the beer.


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## Brian Twyman (Apr 3, 2005)

As very young Apprentice in the RFA, I was told by the Ch.Off. to make a list of the contents of the fog locker. (EEK) He said I would find it just forward of the funnel. So aft I went, clipboard in hand and spent the afternoon in the warmth of the funnel thinking up all sorts of silly things like we have seen in this thread . Then I politely knocked on his cabin door and gave him my list. Fortunately for me, the smirk on his face turned into roars of laughter as he told me to f*** off !. (==D) 

(PS. I had learned about the fog locker in the Sea Cadets !)

Brian


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## niggle (Aug 24, 2005)

How about the Manchester screwdriver (big hammer) for the ginger beers to use "calibrated of course"


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## Santos (Mar 16, 2005)

Nobody has mentioned the ' SKY HOOK ' 

Chris


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## Tmac1720 (Jun 24, 2005)

Chris, take a look at post 19(*))


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## alexmackinnon (Dec 11, 2006)

Tartan paint. To decorate the messroom for new year.


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## ian d.cameron (Jul 3, 2005)

go ask the stores for a wiremesh oil-can


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## billyboy (Jul 6, 2005)

a spirit level bubble to check the inclinometer.
we had a lad on one ship, told him all about the executions.even had an official ticket made out for him stamped and signed by the purser, first mate and radio officer. he was back at the ship by 05:30, said he missed it as the people had gone and the men were hosing the mess away. (the cleaners washing the market place prior to the stalls being set up for the day)


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## Santos (Mar 16, 2005)

OOOPS Missed it thanks TMAC


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## ian d.cameron (Jul 3, 2005)

i think he made it up on the spot(unless anyone's heard it before).
but i remember a a/b in the 70's, sending the deck boy to the deck strores for "the towing spring for the binnacle compass".


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## steve d (Dec 19, 2006)

Red oil for the port navigation light Green for starboard one


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