# Cairns Supreme Court. Part V.



## Cpt Dick Brooks (May 13, 2013)

I looked about the courtroom, after being asked why I was wearing an ice-cream seller's suit by the prosecuting council... and him ponced-up in his wig and gown! I was wearing my white tropical captain's uniform, complete with the four golden bars on my epaulets to add weight to my evidence for the defence of my friend... Robbie Penn.
"As the owner of a British registered ship in Australian territorial waters," I addressed the court. "I have the right to be the captain of that ship in my own right, and wear the uniform of that rank."
"But your ship is nothing but a rusting hulk, wrecked on The Great Barrier Reef," the prosecuting council interrupted me with scorn. "You have no such rights in this court."
I smiled and looked about the courtroom. "Allow me to explain to this court international maritime law," I put to them. "A wreck is only a wreck if it is deemed a wreck. And a wreck is only deemed a wreck if the registration do***ents for that ship are in the possession of the receiver of wrecks. Like in the United Kingdom, the receiver of wrecks in Australia is the Customs and Excise Service."
I pulled out of my briefcase the blue cardboard enclosed British registration do***ent for my ship. "As you can clearly see before me, I hold the registration do***ent for my ship in my hand. She is therefore a ship aground on Emily Reef, and is still officially recognised as a ship. And as the captain of that ship, I maintain the right to wear the uniform of a captain in the British Merchant Navy in this court."
The courtroom erupted into laughter, and many of the men in the public seating area started clapping. Judge de-Silver banged down his gavel three times. "I will have silence in this court!" he shouted at them. He requested the court usher to collect the registration do***ent for my ship to study it, and then returned it to me. "I'll accept your explanation," he told me. "Carry on," he instructed the prosecuting council.
"When the police entered Robert Penn's bungalow out at Wonga Beach, where were you at the time?" he asked me.
I pointed at the floor-plan of the living room pinned to a notice board on a wooden stand. "Seated on the settee with their two children," I told the court.
"Were you taking part in smoking marijuana with the rest of the adults in the room?" He seriously eyeballed me for a moment.
"No, I don't smoke marijuana... or anything else, for that matter." I looked at my antagonist. "I had a two and a half thousand mile coach ride ahead of me, anyway. I was drinking a can of cold beer."
"Have you ever smoked marijuana?" the prosecuting council asked me.
'This could be a right set-up,' I thought. 'Who knows what lying bastard they've got waiting in the wings...' "Yes," I truthfully addressed the open court. 
There was a snigger from the public gallery before the prosecuting council continued. "And when was this?" he asked me snidely.
"At the Number Five Police Training College at Eynsham Hall, in Oxfordshire. "I told the court. "Back in March, 1965, in England." The courtroom erupted into laughter, accompanied by lots of spontaneous clapping.
The judge banged down his gavel half a dozen times, before the overture simmered down. "I will have order in my court!" he shouted at the public seating area. The sniggering slowly subsided.
"We were in a lecture to instruct us about the appearance and effect of different drugs," I continued. "The instructor passed a joint to the front desk in each of the three rows of probationary constables, and lit them up for them. He instructed us to take a full lung-full, and then pass the joints back along the row to the next officer. I didn't like it then... and I don't now... and I've never even smoked a cigarette in all of my life." I grinned at the public gallery. "My drug of choice is alcohol." 
The courtroom once more erupted into laughter, and Judge de-Silver banged his gavel until it subsided again. He gestured for the prosecuting council to continue with his questioning.
"Who was smoking marijuana in the living-room of Robert Penn's bungalow that day?" he asked in annoyance.
"Jenny was sitting at the dining table with Robbie, and was rolling the joints from a four-finger bag. She lit up each joint from a lighter and then handed it to Robbie. He would take a toke and then pass it to the three drug dealers sitting in the easy chairs... one of whom turned out to be an undercover police officer... apparently he'd been undercover for two years on this investigation."
"But the police officer was only taking the smoke into his mouth," the prosecuting council reasoned. "He wasn't inhaling it into his lungs."
"He was stoned out of his mind!" I told the court. "Anything that he said or wrote afterwards was a concoction... he was totally out of it." There was a loud clapping from the public gallery, and cries of, "It's a fit-up!"
Judge de-Silver banged his gavel continuously until the disturbance eventually ended. The prosecuting council went back to a personal attack against my character. He picked up from the desk beside him a copy of the Australian People magazine from the year before, dated 29th August, 1990, showing a photograph of Debut on Emily Reef. There was also a photograph of me sitting by the sea on a log at Wonga Beach, and two more of my crew naked on board my ship.
"It says here that you had sex orgies on board your ship with under-age girls." He smiled to himself, thinking that he had the goods on me. "Let me put it to the court that you were nothing more than a pimp, running an illegal brothel from your ship."
There was no point in trying to explain to the self-righteous bigot how my ship functioned as a nudist commune ship... at the request of the female crew, I might add... or what specifies as an under-age girl when visiting different countries with different cultures. Everyone was on board of their own free will, and every member of my crew was over sixteen when they joined the ship.
I looked at their expectant faces in the hushed courtroom. "What happened on board my ship in international waters on the other side of the world, is outside the jurisdiction of this court!" I told them.
The courtroom erupted into clapping and catcalls of laughter. Even the jury had joined in the applause. "Take that, you dirty old bastard!" someone called out to Judge de-Silver from the public gallery.
The judge banged down his gavel over and over again, shouting, "I will have order in my court! Silence in court! Silence in my court!" 
After a while, things simmered down to allow the proceedings to continue. "Let's talk about the two phone calls that were made from the bungalow while you were there that day," the prosecuting council said to me. "And the call made to that number. Who made those calls, and what were they about?"
"The first phone call was made by myself... I called the coach office in Mossman to check on the time of departure for Sydney. Robbie Penn made the second phone call at the sideboard, on the other side of the living-room from where I was sitting," I told the court. "I don't know what was said, as I wasn't paying much attention at the time. Little Bonnie was so excited about me leaving later on that day for Samoa, to collect Mariana and our two children, then fly them all to England, and kept asking me all kinds of questions. The third phone call was from my friend, Hand-bag Barry, in Cooktown... he wanted to buy my ship's binnacle for his personal display of Debut artefacts."
There was sudden sniggering again from the public seating area... which only stopped when the judge kept banging his gavel on his desk.
"Why do you call this witness 'Hand-bag Barry'?" Judge de-Silver asked me with scorn.
I could tell by the silence that the courtroom was about to explode. I looked at their expectant faces as they waited for my reply. It was like the final penalty-kick at a World Cup final... everyone held their breath. "Because he's a ******," I told the court.
That was it... the place went absolutely wild. People were actually rolling about on the floor with laughter. Some of the jurors were wiping their eyes with their handkerchiefs, bent over to cover their embarrassment and laughter from view. The courtroom was in utter turmoil, with people in the public seating area standing as they clapped in an ovation.
Judge de-Silver banged down his gavel over and over again, spittle flying from the corner of his mouth as he called for order in his court. His voice turned into almost a shriek, as he called for order over and over again. He banged down his gavel so hard onto his desk that the head flew off into the public gallery. The courtroom erupted with even louder convulsions, with the jury now in complete hysterical disarray.
Judge de-Silver had to be helped from the courtroom by two court ushers... who were also having trouble in controlling their own emotions. The judge's wig had slipped to one side... as if in a Norman Wisdom sketch... as he was led from the courtroom. He looked like the poncy fop that he really was. 
I later heard from a friend in Australia that he had been struck off the bench for molesting young boys... no wonder he got so upset when I called Hand-bag Barry a ******. He got his just deserts, and his very own comeuppance in the end. To be continued. All the best, Cpt Dick Brooks.


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## colcur (May 15, 2017)

What a story. It gets better as the tale progresses. Keep it coming Cap'n.


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## Cpt Dick Brooks (May 13, 2013)

*For Colcur.*

G'day, Calcur, how are you making out today? I'm glad that you enjoyed the fifth part of my short story, 'Cairns Supreme Court', and hope it met up with your expectations... as promised... so far in the adventure. The finale will be published next Sunday, and I hope that you will enjoy it as much as Part V... be it at a more relaxed pace. All the best to you, Cpt Dick Brooks.


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## Robert Hilton (Feb 13, 2011)

Superb. I think most of us would wish to be in a position to squash hostile counsel.


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## Cpt Dick Brooks (May 13, 2013)

*For Robert Hilton.*

G'day, Robert, how's things with you? I'm glad that you enjoyed my last post... and I promise even better things to come. You should enjoy the finale to the story next Sunday. I've posted over three hundred short stories on the Forum websites... if you're into a read... or you could go to the Books Forum and download the Kindle codes for the nine books of true sea adventure that I have published. Each book has some thirty five colour photographs included, with the last book... 'Return to Debut : The Last Resort' with forty five photographs included. If you're into adventure, you should enjoy being part of my crew when you are reading my sea stories all over the world. All the best, Cpt Dick Brooks.


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## ChasH (May 23, 2014)

*Capn Brooks*

brilliant, wish i was in that courtroom, cant wait for the finale, i don't think they knew as much about maritime law as you did, i think that's why the judge excepted your explanation. chasH


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## tsell (Apr 29, 2008)

Dick, you're an irascible old rogue, mate and you lay it out so well!! Looking forward to Sunday!! Best to Mariana.(Thumb)

Taff


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## Cpt Dick Brooks (May 13, 2013)

*For ChasH and tsell.*

G'day, ChasH and tsell, how are you both making out? I'm really glad that you enjoyed part five of 'Cairns Supreme Court', and hope it was worth the wait. I think you'll both like the finale... but remember this is a true story... as are all my books and short stories, involving real people. 
Ps. to Tsell. Thinking of you out there in The Land-of-Oz. Mariana is doing fine... handling a job and looking after those three boys. All the best, Cpt Dick Brooks.


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