# Look What They've Done to my Harbour!



## Cpt Dick Brooks (May 13, 2013)

I was having a quiet beer with Peter Smith and Dirty-Mike in the R.S.A., by the fishing harbour of Apia. I had just completed replacing one of the main tanker mooring buoys in the outer harbour, and me and the harbour master were discussing the next stage of the Mobil Oil tanker-mooring overhaul when the phone behind the bar rang. Moana, serving behind the bar, motioned for Peter Smith to come to the phone, and placed it on the counter.
When the harbour master returned to our high table, his natural colour had gone several shades lighter. "I don't believe this is happening!" he told me. "Those fools down at B.P. have messed up their valves and ruptured the undersea oil-pipeline. Fifteen hundred gallons of high octane petrol has just gone into my harbour!" He emptied his glass and went out to his car. Sirens could be heard racing through the town towards Sogi and the tank-farms on the Mulunuu Peninsular to the west of the harbour.
"Looks like we're in for a bit more fun, Mike!" I laughed along with him. "I'd put your *** out, if I were you, I can smell it in here... and we're not even down wind."
Dirty Mike spat out his butt and stepped on it. "Campbell is gonna get his comeuppance over this little do!" He smacked his hands together at the thought. "Looks like some more work for us, Dad?"
I grinned at him. "It's an ill wind, as the saying goes."
"Shall we go for a look-see?" Dirty-Mike suggested.
"Na! We'll be close enough, before long. We'll just wait here for the phone to ring, or Vainu'u to come panting through that door. I wouldn't want to be looking at the harbour if it goes whoosh, anyway. Let the others go and watch... I'm sure they'll come and tell us all about it."
Big-Bill's Land Rover came to a screech outside the rear double doors of the R.S.A., and Mariana jumped out of the passenger seat and came running into the club. "Have you heard about the pipeline bursting?" she panted. "It's been on the radio. There are police cars and fire trucks running all over the place." She took out her cigarettes and nervously put one in her mouth to steady herself.
"I wouldn't, if I were you, sweetheart... there's enough petrol out there in the harbour to make our own Hiroshima."
She hesitantly put them back into her pocket. "What are we going to do?" she asked. "What about the ship?"
"She's safe enough, being upwind of the tanker. The bang might scorch the paintwork a bit... that's if there are any idiots about daft enough to have a *** on."
Big-Bill came over with a tray of drinks and placed it on the high table. "Have you heard how bad the spill is?" he enquired.
"Fifteen hundred gallons of four star, before they could stop the pumps on the tanker."
"What caused it?" he asked.
"Campbell must have been getting excited about us lifting our six ton concrete block off the main wharf after blocking us in, because he wasn't watching his valves. Someone closed the wrong valve when the pumps were still pumping on the tanker, and they blew the pipe with the hydraulic lock."
Dirty-Mike laughed. "I like it! I really like it! And old Wasko is missing out on all the fun... chasing after his bit of tail."
"If it's been broadcast on 2AP, he won't be far away."
There was the putt! putt! putt! of Wasko's motor cycle at the rear of the club, and he came through the door, taking off his battered crash helmet. "They're going mad down past your shop, Mike! You've never seen such a lash-up. Vainu'u is doing his top at that guy from B.P. They're spraying the shore with foam from the airport... what a bloody mess!"
"Did he have anything to say for himself?" I enquired.
He looked over at me. "He said he'd be in here to see you as soon as he could. Peter Smith is throwing a right wobbly at what they're doing to his harbour. He's ordered the tanker back out to sea, in case the whole place goes up."
"I wondered when someone would get their act together!"
"The police have evacuated the whole of the Mulunuu Peninsular! They've even closed the Fono parliament building! They won't let Vainu'u go to his office and collect his car... he's going absolutely berserk at them!"
I laughed, trying to picture his short, plump form grappling with a burly police officer. "I'm not surprised... it's almost brand new."
"Let me get a round in. Rum and Coke for you, Marina?"
"Thanks, Wasko. How long are we staying here, honey?" she asked me.
I shrugged. "At least until we find out what's happening, and what, if anything, they want us to do." I called across to Wasko. "How many guys has Vainu'u got working for him?"
He looked over from the bar. "Dozens! All his tanker drivers and guys from the yard. All the guys from B.P. and Shell are there as well."
"They won't want anything from us until the morning, then. Vainu'u will make B.P. put this little lot right, and Campbell has his own team of divers, anyway."
Wasko carried back a loaded tray and passed out the drinks. He handed Mariana her rum and Coke, and she took a sip.
"I'll go to the market after this and get our vegetables for tonight." She looked at me. "What do you want in the way of meat?"
"Just get some steak, sweetheart, I don't want to muck around with anything fancy."
"And some palisami?" she enquired. 
I nodded. 
"I won't be long." She finished her drink and went out of the double doors towards the vegetable market.
Dirty Mike nudged Wasko. "What happened with your Sheila?"
"I was right in the middle of giving her one, when they interrupted the music to say about the oil spill. Then I heard the sirens! I finished her off quick and came to see what was happening."
"Wham, bam, thank you ma'am!"
"Something like that, Dick. She wanted to come along, but I thought we might be working all night."
Dirty-Mike took a pull from his glass and rubbed his groin. "Grrrrrrrrr! You should have brought her with you... we could have had some fun with her on the messroom table."
"That's the main reason I didn't bring her!" He looked at Dirty-Mike. "She's a nice girl, and I want to keep her that way."
Vainu'u was dropped off by a police car and came through the rear double doors into the bar. His immaculate grey suit was in a mess, and his highly polished shoes were soggy pieces of shapeless leather. He was wet up to his knees with muddy water, and stank of gasoline. 
"That bloody Campbell is a right pratt!" he swore. "He's really gone and done it this time... the useless bastard!" He looked at us standing around the high table. "Thanks for waiting... I suppose it's my shout?"
I drained my glass and banged it down for a refill. "And I suppose you're right! What's the order of the day?"
"Just let me get some drinks and I'll be with you." He went to the counter for his order, taking an empty tray with him from the table. He returned with a full load of large bottles of Vailima Beer and handed them around. "We'll be working all through the night, trying to make the area safe. First thing in the morning, can you place your concrete block in position, and then start dismantling the flexible end of the pipeline?"
"Did the tanker flush the pipeline through with sea water?"
"Yes, it's only got water in it now. I told that fool, Campbell, never to exceed 60 psi on the pipeline. The impatient bastard was pumping at 120 psi, when some fool shut the valve on their tank. I went on to the tanker to read the pressure record. When they shut the valve without first stopping the pump, the needle went right off the recorder and broke. I reckon he had up to 400 psi on the line just for that split second before the safety valve could open. It's twice the test pressure of the pipeline. Now we have to remove a forty foot section of the pipe and weld it up! The bloody company is so tight, I don't even have any spare lengths of pipe in my yard."
"What's Peter got to say for himself?" I enquired.
"Don't even talk to me about that pratt! The way he's going on about his sodding harbour, you'd think it was a pristine holiday resort... not a stinking garbage tip. Six tons of bloody petrol... all over the pace! Just one spark, and he's not even going to have a harbour to whinge about! All the tank farms on the Mulunuu Peninsular will go up, taking out the whole bloody town with them. All the best, Cpt Dick Brooks.


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